On Clickians

family: Canidae /Saudiae

Eastern Whining doglike humanoids

Clickians:  Near humanoid-like creatures of the family Canidae (Saudiae)/genus Clicciaciae that are of slight build, thin haired, pot-bellied, swarthy, dull muddied complexions, with varied colorations- mainly light blue with differientiating markings, and the majority have a prehensile, hairless black tail.  Most are equipped with split grey tongue, and have the ability to multi-speak, that is to talk from several sides of their mouths simultaneously (faceted larynx)*, a true family Saudiae trait.  Western Mountain Clicks (Clicciaciae Mountainieri) are the only variant with a non-prehensile tail.  Both the Clicciaciae Wildcaticus and the Volunterianii are tail-less.   Although their primary mode of communications is to whine incessantly.  Western Clicks tend to emit robust barks, rather than the incessant whining of their eastern (North and South Carolinian) brethren.
Clickians are generally accepted within the scientific community as belonging to the Phylum Chordata.
 phylum Chordata class Mammalia, order Carnivorafamily Canidae or Saudiae*genus Clicciaciae**, and species (6 main, with some discussion of up to 9 species).  
** Not to be confused with Clactonian:  of or relating to a Lower Paleolithic culture usually characterized by stone flakes with a half cone at the point of striking.
General morphology: Coloration: Generally Baby Blue, but scientific discourse states there are 6 main variants (some argue there are up to 9).  Some in the scientific community divide the genus into North and South variants.  We do not support such divisions.  All true Clicciaciae have prehensile hairless black tails and have been known to rest, hanging from tree limbs.  True Clicciaciae, especially the Tarheelicus, are incessant whiners.

They are pack animals and generally travel in large groups.  When in pack they are often, loud, boistrous, and self congratulatory.  Walking around patting each other on the back and eagerly licking, kissing, and sniffing each others hindparts.  True Clicciaciae, especially the Tarheelicus, when idle or alone is more than content – like all dogs – to lie about smiling and contentedly self-cleaning it’s own genitalia and hindparts.

When excited, under duress, or stress, they will turn on each other.  Under extreme stress true Clicciaciae, of the main variants; will attack, and kill-wound-maim the smaller, standoffish Dookii.

Clicciaciae Tarheelicus – Solid baby blue coloration with distinctive black feet, occasionally with white spots or pattern along both sides.   Loudest and most incessant whiners of the genus.  Incessant self-cleaners.  When excited, under duress, or stress, they will turn on each other, and have been known on occasion to eat their young.  Tarheelicus species glow an eerily fluorescent blue in the dark and when stressed, as evidence to the actuality of the 1978 Rocky Mount incident.  Whine on, Tarheelicus, whine on!


Clicciaciae Dookii – Baby Blue with dark blue and black side spots/markings.  Has broad dark blue stripe down its’ mid-back.   Has tufts of dark blue-black hairs on forehead, resembling horns.  Smallest numbered species within the genus.  Workaholic species of the genus.  Envied by and often attacked by the other Cliccaiciae species.


Clicciaciae Forestiae –  Baby Blue with gold side markings, broad gold stripe down mid-back.  Generally nondiscript.


Clicciaciae Wolfpacciae – Baby Blue with red side markings and broad red stripe down mid-back.  Generally nondiscript, but with occasional flashes of hyper work activity.


Clicciaciae Nogamecockii (Southern Red Click) All Dark Red coloration with white side marks and white mid-back stripe.  Sometimes wearing a red/white patterned Shemagh head covering.  Bottom of the genus pecking order.


Clicciaciae Clemsoniae (Tiger Click) Bright Orange with blue mid-back stripe, no side markings.  Generally nondiscript.  Tends to walk in large concentric and or circular patterns, looking at and sniffing its’ own glow-in-the-dark orange tracks.
The following genus’ have been recently found to have Clickian origins, although none possess prehensile tails, do not multi-speak, and tend to bark rather than whine.  Therefore most authorities do not consider the following 3 species to be true Clickians.  
Clicciaciae Mountainieri (Western Mountain Click) Baby Blue with dark blue square side markings, and a blue/gold tiger patterned stripe down mid-back. Pink, non-split tongue, unable to multi-speak, a  non-prehensile tail, and barks instead of whines.  (Previously thought to belong to the family Cercopithecinae.)
Clicciaciae Wildcaticus (Western Blue Click or the “Jim Beam” Click)  Dark Blue with white mid-back stripe, no side markings.  Normal morphology with exceptions of barks rather than whines, and is a Tail-less Click.
Clicciaciae Volunterianii (Western Yellow Click or the “Jack Daniel’s” Click)  Misnamed as “yellow”, this species is Bright Orange in coloration with white mid-back stripe, no side markings. Normal morphology with exceptions of barks rather than whines, and is a Tail-less Click.

Clickians are generally known for their loud, piercing whining, which can be heard for miles.  With the advent of internet and video streaming…they are now heard world-wide.  Prior to the 1978 nuclear accident at Rocky Mount , NC; Clickians were generally only seen in their native habitats.  After the Rocky Mount incident (beginning in the early 1980’s), Northern Clickians are now seen in great numbers on the roads throughout North America, with their distinctive blue and white (1st in Flight-an apt discription) license plates.  They have become the whining ‘gypsies’ of the continent.   Southern Red and Tiger variants are mainly seen outside of their normal habitat in Alabama, Florida, and the greater Washington, DC area.
Female Clickians will attest to the speed and effeminate nature of the males mating rituals, with Clemsoniae holding the mating speed record, at just under 15 seconds.  The average Clickian can easily consummate the mating act in under 2 minutes.  Western Clicks generally mate drunk and therefore have reasonably longer mating periods, although most interbreed within their immediate family groups, giving rise to genetic malformities and abnormalities.  Western Mountain Clicks will mate with shoes on (provided that they own a pair of shoes).  
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